Tis the season for gift guides. But you won’t see one here.
I put one together when I first started blogging in 2017 (now since deleted) because that’s what bloggers did, right? But so far, that’s the only one I’ve written. I stopped after that because well, it didn’t feel right to me. For one, I find the whole thing kind of weird. How can I, a person who does not know you, recommend things for the people in your life?
I get it. Gifting can be hard. I understand how a curated list from someone with taste that aligns with yours could be helpful. But a lot of gift guides seem generic. Gifts for moms. Gifts under $100 for travelers. And though I’ve been influenced by bloggers or magazines to buy something for myself, I’ve never bought something off a gift guide for anyone else. (From the blogging side, gifts guides can bring in money because sites have the potential to earn commission on any affiliate links to items they’re recommending. So there’s a financial incentive for publications and bloggers to create them.)
The other thing is that I don’t really buy gifts anymore. I don’t mean that I never give gifts. But I’ve stopped participating in the frenzied consumption that is the holiday season. And I don’t want to contribute to it by telling you to buy stuff.
As an environmentalist, as someone who is trying to spend money wisely, and as someone trying to live more minimally, gifting just doesn’t make much sense.
Can we be honest about this for a moment? Let’s face it: gifts can be wasteful. How many times have you received something that you didn’t like? If it didn’t come with a gift receipt, you were stuck with it. Maybe it clutters your home for a while as you hold on to it, trying to use it. But you never really take to it, so eventually you give it away. If you’re lucky, you know someone who will appreciate it. Otherwise, it ends up in a thrift store where maybe it finds a new home.
These days, we do very little gifting of objects in my family. I grew up with practical parents who preferred to give us cash. And while I always appreciated it, there was a time, particularly in my early 20s, when I thought it was no fun. Now that I’m older, though, I recognize this no-nonsense approach as optimal for not contributing to stuff that people don’t want or need — or for taking up time spent making returns or exchanges. Cash is efficient. It allows you to spend it exactly as you want.
(Don’t get me started on gift cards. Those are such a scam. It takes a totally fungible thing (money) and confines where and how you can spend it. I am still trying to spend down a gift card from years ago.)
I’m not a total Scrooge. There are little ones in my life and they get presents. But I tend to stick to books and stickers, maybe some art supplies. I only occasionally give them toys. (The kids in my life have plenty of toys already.)
And I’m not saying, “No gifts ever.” People have given me things that I’ve loved, things that I never would have bought for myself. That’s part of the happiness of gifts. And I’ve gotten much joy out of giving things to others too. But I don’t let the holidays dictate when I give someone a present. Sometimes I come across something that I think someone will really enjoy. I’ll just give them a present out of the blue.
Remember: a gift doesn’t always have to be a thing. These days, I’m more likely to give the gift of an experience or time. I enjoy taking friends out for a nice meal so that we can catch up. One of my most favorite gifts that I’ve received was a day of activities friends planned for me.
I’m just saying: gift thoughtfully and responsibly! (And for the love of the earth, if you do give a gift, don’t use glitter cards (glitter = tiny pieces of plastic) or conventional wrapping paper, which in most cases can’t even be recycled and just end up in the landfill.)
How to Make a DIY Fabric Wreath
A note about the image: this is a wreath that my mother-in-law made out of fabric scraps! Isn’t it cool? She created it out of a wire hanger and cotton fabric pieces left over from her sewing projects. It’s an easy craft activity.
- Bend the wire hanger into a round shape.
- Cut fabric strips of about the same length and width. The strips here are about 3/4″ wide and 7″ long.
- Knot the strips on the wire hanger until you fill up the space, paying attention to color and composition as you go along.