A hazard of writing a blog about stuff, even ethically-made stuff, is that sometimes I influence my own damn self. While I was putting together my annual Ethical Black Friday & Cyber Monday list, of course I started browsing. So many tempting things!

I started this blog as a way to talk out loud about my attempts at consuming more sustainably and ethically. That means staying away from fast fashion. But more importantly: I’m supposed to shop way less. I have definitely made strides in the past two years. But uh, putting together a list of sales really tested my resolve.

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What I Wanted and Did Not Buy

Clothes I totally wanted but did not buy include:

• This puffy down stole or maybe this one from Nau
• A Turkish cotton bathrobe from Parachute
• This belt bag from Lo & Sons (Still on sale this week. I am in love with the navy one)
• A textured shell from Vetta
• This toasty Everlane sweater
• Matching sweats from Mate the Label
• This Amour Vert balloon sleeve sweater

Here are some of the questions I asked myself to counteract the sale! siren going off in my head

• Do I need this? Does this fill a gap?
• Do I have something that already serves the same purpose/role?
• How much will I use this?
• How versatile is it? What else can I pair this with in my wardrobe?
• Does this fit my sense of style?
• Can I see myself wearing/using this in 5 years? How about 10?
• Would I still want this if it were not on sale? Would I be willing to pay full price for it?

So, no, I do not need a puffy down stole, even though I think it looks really cool. Would I even get much wear out of something like that since the sleeves are elbow length?

No, I do not need a new bath robe because I already own one from Old Navy that I bought ages ago. True, it’s made out of some kind of synthetic (the words on the tag have faded) requiring me to wash it in a Guppyfriend. Cotton would feel more luxurious. But, my current robe is still in decent shape so I should wear it to death.

No, I do not need a belt bag. I already have one (again, made out of a synthetic material, bought long ago from Target). I actually put the Lo & Sons belt bag in my cart and was about to hit “purchase” but right before I did, I called a good friend. This was a smart thing to do. I highly recommend having a cool-headed friend to talk through the pros and cons of any particular item. She talked me out of this purchase.

No, I do not need the shell from Vetta lovely as it is (the texture!) and as cool as it is (you can wear it two ways!). I already own tank tops that serve the same purpose.

As to the sweaters and sweats, these are things I actually do need. (Well, maybe not the balloon sleeve Amour Vert sweater. You know I love a balloon sleeve, but how often would I wear it?) I only own two warm sweaters and one pair of sweatpants. Given that I work from home, I need more sweats! (Today I thought to myself, “Hmmm, I need to wash these sweat pants, but what am I going to wear in the meantime?”)

However, these items were on the pricey side for me ($150 for the Everlane sweater, $165 for the set of sweats on sale) and I couldn’t justify it. There’s a rational voice in my head that acknowledges that things that are high quality and made in better conditions are going to cost more. I understand that. I’ve kept a spreadsheet of my wardrobe buys and can see that I used to spend more money buying things that were not as well made because I bought so much more of it. Yeah, #fewerbetterthings. I get it.

But emotionally, it’s hard for me. I grew up pretty thrifty and I hate paying $$ when I can pay $. I’m still working on this mind shift. What I’ve told myself in the meantime is that I’m free to look for these items secondhand.

What I Bought (and Sharing My Closet on Black Friday)

So, what did I buy on Black Friday/Cyber Monday weekend? Mostly practical items. I stocked up on household goods and beauty products like my moisturizer (my skincare routine here), eye shadow primer, Dental Lace plastic-free floss refills, and reusable cosmetic rounds. But I did indulge in some fashion finds and am eagerly awaiting their arrival.

I’m most excited about this two-piece dress from Vetta, a brand that I’ve been meaning to try for a while. I originally went to the site to buy these pants and this top, but they’re both sold out. I had pinned those two items to my Wardrobe Wants Pinterest board months ago. Things are supposed to sit on that board for some time while I think about them. But this dress totally bypassed that system. Oops. I also tried to shop the Vetta sample sale on Monday, but things disappeared from my cart when I tried to pay for them. It’s probably better that way. I started putting things in my cart without examining them because the prices were low and it was competitive shopping. But sample sale garments are nonrefundable and what if they don’t fit/ look good/ have a flaw I can’t deal with?

I also ordered these J. Crew pants because I love the print. There’s a good chance I’ll return them, though, because am I really going to wear silk pants? But I wanted to see it in person. What I really wanted is the shirt, but it’s sold out.

Everlane put a few things on sale for one day on Monday and well well, if one of them wasn’t the Re:Down Puffy Puff jacket I just wrote about. Dear reader, I bought one. (Actually, more than one because I couldn’t decide on the color.) See, influencing my own self again.

Off to a new home: I wore this & Other Stories top just a handful of times. May my friend wear it more often.

But my most favorite shopping experience this weekend was un-shopping. I met two friends for lunch on Black Friday. Afterwards we went back to my apartment where I invited them to shop my closet instead of the mall. I hadn’t planned this. It’s just what we ended up doing — and it was so much fun! One of my friends has similar tastes to me and she happens to be one size smaller than me. Well, I happen to have some clothes that are now too small for me. My other friend wears the same shoe size. It was a win-win. I was happy to send my friends off with clothes and shoes that I no longer wear.

I was originally going to write my monthly diary post documenting what I bought and what I purged. But this post feels long already! I’ll do it later. How did you fare during the shopping frenzy that is Black Friday/Cyber Monday. Were you able to ignore it? Did you also buy practical things?

First Image: Claudio Schwarz/Unsplash

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